Tube Tales

With all my previous jobs I have had in London I had the luxury of being able to catch the bus or walk from home which was pretty much the greatest thing about all the jobs i had... now that im an upper class girl working in the heart of mayfair it is imperitive that I catch the tube everyday. I can now say these journeys into London each day has opened my eyes to the commute most londoners face and I have to say its not a fun one...

Firstly, no one, and i repeat no one makes eye contact. If you do its probably the end of your life as you know it. If your face isnt buried into a book, the metro, your laptop or iphone and you decide to gaze around to look at fellow passengers be wary of someone else doing the same. The awkwardness of catching someones eye will leave you utterly ashamed and wish you could curl into a ball and hide from the world. your eyes do funny tricks as you quickly dart them left and right, up and down to relieve yourself of the embarrasment.

Secondly, no one talks, and if you do everyone will hear it. I cant count the number of times I have overheard an emotional sob story between friends about a current break up, a bitch about that awful girl at work who gave you work to do a minute till home time, a whinge about the kids... no one wants to hear it.. unless its really funny like the time 2 girls were saying they wouldnt come to Australia because of the hail.. i mean really.

There are some very (how shall I put this..) dumb people out there who have no idea of the etiquette of being on the tube.
LET PEOPLE OFF THE TUBE BEFORE YOU GET ON. This one annoys me the most. I mean really dont push your way on before the rest of us have got on. I now push my way back and have been known to barge a few people out of the way because I could almost not get off in time.
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. No one wants to hear britney blasting from your ear phones.. (Do I sound like an old whinging nanna??)
PLEASE USE DEODOURANT. I detest standing next to someone holding onto the railing above and their armpit is practically in my face and they forgot to either shower and/or use deodourant.. its not fun.
ITS PROBABLY BEST NOT TO FALL ASLEEP ON THE TUBE. We dont enjoy listening to your snoring, but I do get enjoyment out of the fact that when you woke up and asked where you were, you figured out you had gone 5 stops too many. Classic.

I could literally go on and on about the ups and downs of catching the tube but I'll leave it at this... catching the tube everyday for work is expensive... £27.60 for a weekly pass just for zones 1 and 2... not the best thing for my poor bank account.